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| Selos |
| Sunday, October 14, 2007 |
"Eh badtrip yung text mo eh..."
Kagabi inaway ko na naman ang isa kong kaibigan dahil sa selos. I felt so alone, I felt I was left alone. A few days back, I was at my peak argument with him trying to make my point and him trying to clarify things. I thought of giving up the friendship but reconsidered the idea – I thought of giving it one last shot since he was making very good justification and was more than apologetic.
I tried so hard not to mind my emotions as this usually causes the trouble. Yet logic speaks out from somewhere behind my not-so-little brain.
Emotion. I’m really not good at what my senses tell me. More often than not, what I feel is wrong. Most of those who know how I think would advise me not to speak nor write anything when I’m excited, mad or disappointed. In short, I am a waste when I am at my extremes.
I had a high school flirt whom I have cared so much. Sobrang tanga ko kapag kasama ko siya noon. Libre dito, libre doon. Inom dito, inom doon. It came to a point that I have dropped or re-scheduled some of my college subjects so I can be with him in the same class on the following semester or a year after. Eh di naman ako pinapansin ng tarantado. Sobrang tanga ko di ba? Bakit? Emotion. I am a waste when I follow what I feel.
Noon nag-blog tungkol kay Mart, Dex at Paulo. When I made that entry, sumabog ang iilang tao na unang sumuporta kay Mart. Iilang mga fans din ni Paulo ang nagsabing gaga ako dahil sa mga pinagsasabi ko. Ang resulta, nagkaroon ng faction ang Martians at nagresulta sa mga maka-KRISMA at maka-JEMA. Again, dahil sinunod ko ang aking emosyon.
Logic. I scored 96.72% during my college aptitude test, 98.62% for logic examination. When I was just starting with the industry where I am now, most of my colleagues say that I have exemplary skill in analysis – logic playing a major part of it. I accomplish much of the things I like because of logic.
Nang napuno ako sa tarantadong high school flirt ko, inisip ko kung bakit para akong tanga na naghahanap ng kanyang pagkalinga. He enjoys being with most of our female kabarkada. Ang inisip ko naman, baka chick-boy lang… eh bakit parati nya ring kasama ang isa pa naming tarantadong lalakeng kabarkada? Anak ng tipaklong, kalahi pala! Yun na!
Nung nagkaroon ng faction ang mga Martians, lumabas ang kulay ng mga naisip kong dating mga tunay na kaibigan. Ang logic, plastic kung plastic. Tupperware kung Tupperware. Manalo ang mananalo, masira ang masisira. Kampi-kampihan na ito.
But what happens when my logic is at risk because of extreme emotion? Answer, disaster.
Minsan na akong sinabihan ni ‘kaibigan’ na masyado akong nag-iisip. Nagseselos ako sa mga bagay-bagay na hindi naman dapat pagselosan. But I am sure that you would agree with me when I say na "Action speaks louder than words..." iba yung nakikita ko sa sinasabi nya. Masyado ko lang ba sinusunod ang aking emosyon, masyado akong nag-iisip o di kaya'y nag-iisip ako ng mga bagay-bagay para masunod ang aking emosyon?
Sabi ng kapatid ni 'kaibigan' kagabi, baka nakukulitan na raw sa akin o dili kaya'y galit sa akin. Napaisip ako. Kung nakukulitan, possible. Kung magagalit naman, bakit? Siguro'y dapat ko ng sundin ang sinabi ni Norman Vincent Peale, change your thoughts and you change your world.
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posted by Tiborxia @ Sunday, October 14, 2007  |
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